Powerful Connections

Maybe you recognize this situation: You were sitting at a bar or walking down the street, and you saw a gorgeous girl walking close by. You probably thought something like “wow, she’s hot, I wish I could talk to her,” and as she walked by you, as the moment of opportunity had vanished forever, you probably kicked into a new pattern of thought like: “Why didn’t I just… DAYUM, she was hot!”

Perhaps you proceeded with “I know exactly what I… Oh my God, that would have been SO cool.”

Now, even though you already know the right thing to do the next time an amazingly beautiful woman walks by, you say nothing - just like before. Since this pattern doesn’t make sense, you now start to rationalize your behavior:  “I’m out of her league, so I might as well just spare myself the embarrassment.” You may have blamed the choice on the clothes you were wearing, or the fact that you had eaten a ton of garlic the day before, who knows what that was for you..?

Don’t worry. You are not alone. In fact, lots of GREAT pick up artists out there run the same strategy with the women they think are super hot, too. They are going MENTAL trying to figure out the right approach – until the moment is gone.

Many of us easily go through our entire lives settling for less than we really, truly desire. Under false assumptions, I might add. We believe in measuring in terms of external success or failure… And failure HURTS! So we come up with excuses to explain our decision not to act.

But, what is success, anyway?

fact of the matter is that in successfully meeting and attracting women, few presuppositions exist. As a member of the PUA community since 1999 and through my experiences as a certified coach and master of NLP, I have learned this: Pick-up and attraction models don’t work because they are the hidden code or super stealthy communication methods. They all work because… YOU believe they work.

Let us rationalize over this for a second. If we are 7 billion people on the face of the planet, and every person is infinitely complex then, assuming one cannot seduce one self, is it at all possible that the number of pick up models out there equals (7 billion x 7 billion) – 7 billion. That being the case, how do YOU know that you are practicing THE model above them all? The answer is simple: It has worked for you or someone else once or more, so now you believe you are armed with the right ammo!

No matter what model you follow, one of the most important presuppositions of being successful with women is to open the conversation every time you see an attractive girl. Some guru’s will have you use opinion openers, others will ask that you state your sexual desires, and some will tell you to talk about fruit as if  you were having sex with it, and then there are those that will tell you that you have to immediately say something that lowers a hot girl’s value. Confused? The most common excuse I hear from newcomers is: “I don’t know what to say!”

In reality, what you say is not as important as what you believe. The odds are constantly in your favor, as long as you take a crack at it!

The verbal opener doesn’t matter at all: The very instant we initiate conversation with another person or group we induce a break-state and open a physical and mental vacuum in the process. As you step into that vacuum and change the subject and the group dynamics, it’s NATURAL, and what’s more… It displays tremendous confidence and VALUE. Instead of being afraid that the value you bring to the table is not enough, … how about assuming that you display undeniable value through initiating a no bullshit, light-hearted conversation? In her mind, it’s in dire contrast to the 20 guys that walked up and asked her for a light, I can tell you that much.

A key point for me to make here: If you measure your success on how many phone numbers you get per night, you are – no matter how you twist and turn it – depending on other people’s choices to determine whether or not you achieve your success criteria. If you measure how many times you hand a girl your phone, you alone determine how much you will over-perform.

Knowing this, you can approach and open with ANYTHING that comes to your mind. If it’s a compliment, fine! If it’s in Latin, fine! You can even say NOTHING and still open JUST FINE! If the girl tells you to fuck yourself, fine! Your goal was to approach and get to know if she was a person that you could bless, and you will have a great time analyzing the meaning of the feedback and how you can adapt instantly by asking her friends: “Is she always this rude?”

I dare you to go Bar X tonight, walk up to a woman and ask her for directions for Bar X, and then sit down beside her and reward her with a compliment for kindly telling you.

At what pace do you think you will evolve your game, when you start applying this mindset with women or in any other aspect of your life? Now that you possess this wisdom, is it at all possible that you will just ask the next girl to stop, and then learn from what happens next?

You can read a lot more about these strategies and find some really powerful tools to attract and connect with women in my eBook “Powerful Game – Strategies of a Highly Successful Pick Up Artist” – or simply by frequently checking in with this blog.