No matter the previous experiences with women, almost every last one of the participants at our live events come to us with stories on why they could not approach in the past. I have heard a lot of different stories, most of which, when thought through, have made no logical sense.
Put in other words, most guys choose to not approach based on the fear of what will happen if they decide to actually do it. In the seduction community, this is known as Approach Anxiety, or AA. In my experience AA is an expression of relying on external validation. We are so hooked up on getting a positive feedback from getting positive input from others that we choose not to approach, in order to avoid dealing with the soon to follow brush-off. Even so, our outspoken excuses differ greatly.
Let me just say straight off the tee that when you are starting out your life as an aspiring pick up artist, you must honor the little kid inside you and approach whenever you feel it coming on. To my knowledge there is not one single PUA out there that has not felt that gritty feeling of AA in one way or the other. Once we get used to approaching the more ordinary girls, we fear not being accepted by the exceptional girls. I actually started out fearful of approaching ANYONE without at least 7 beers in the belly!
So, how do we move on? Well, we can sit there and think it through or we can go out and get new references: “I approached someone. I’m still alive. I approached someone else. I’m still alive. I approached another girl, and she told me to piss off. I’m still alive.”
Once you start confronting your fears, you will start re-defining them. To me, that notion, combined with deep respect for women, is what the lifestyle and the principles of the pick up artist is all about.
Which of these two statements feel more powerful to you?
“Dammit, I wish I would have just said something, she was SMILING at me!” - or: “Dammit, I am so glad I proved to myself that I could talk to that girl, even if it were only for a second!”
If the second sentence sounds more powerful to you, imagine what your approaches will look like when you follow the advice of our Powerful Attraction coaches:
In the next issue of our newsletter, we will be covering the 7 Steps of Powerful Approaches, so if you’re not signed up already, go ahead and do that on the main page now. I imagine you will want to benefit from this great opportunity to increase your approaching success, right?
Oh, and incidentally: As you were reading this post, some girl out there just got approached by a guy that may not respect her in the way that she deserves to be respected. I hope she wasn’t meant for you.
