At present, I am working on two new eBook projects, the first of these has the premise on following up on that first meeting with the girl. Instead of just developing the books all alone with feedback only from my peers, I am thinking that I will share my book content ideas on the blog.
Please, PLEASE feel free to e-mail me or comment with your ideas, as it will only make for a better book in the end, right?
Let me just skip into the section of the first date, and some advice on what NOT to do. Here are some of the top reasons your dates can go bad – quickly.
1. Arrange the usual date
I don’t know about you but… X-Men and pop corn don’t really make a happy date these days. Why waste time in a dark cinema not looking at each other, not being able to talk, when you can arrange a fantastic trip out under the stars with a bottle of white wine instead? This even has a lower price, unless you plan on dishing up with caviar as well.
2. Not continuing the good stuff from your first meeting
On far too many occasions the new relationship is stranded after (on) the first date. Wannabe pickup artists have long promoted the concept of keeping the subjects of Day 2 (the first date) identical to that of the first meeting. For one thing, they fear to seem incongruent with the role they have taken on. Another key concept is that of re-activating the same notions that made the girl “buy” you in the first place. The second concept I highly recommend.
3. Sitting across the table from your date
Do not ever do this. If you go somewhere to eat or drink something, let the girl sit down first, and then sit down right next to her – it is much easier to access each other physically this way, and makes for an easy-flowing conversation.
4. Talking about your job as if it’s interesting
It’s not. What you CONTRIBUTE to the world, and what you enable others to feel is. How you do it is highly irrelevant.
5. Asking about what she does
Do you want to be one of the 20 guys she has dated, or do you want to stand out? Ask about what her dreams are, or what drives her today. “Normal” girls will respond “Oh I’m a nurse…” whereas the more creative and intelligent girls will say: “I enjoy helping people feel safe…” This makes a hell of a difference!
6. Neglecting to touch her physically
If you do not show physical interest on the date, the girl will either think that you’re a puss, gay or emotionally detached. That’s not my speculation, that’s a fact.
7. Ignoring her interest signals
If you do not pick up on her subtle signals of interest and respond in kind, she will start looking for something else. Chances are though, that you normally do not pick up on her signals. Studies have shown that most men are too busy with thinking about sex to actually notice female signals of interest unless absolutely obvious.
8. Follow her every whim
I don’t know about you, … Personally, I hate a girl that poses no conversational challenge or will do whatever I ask of her, sometimes even without having to ask. Do you think that women are any different? If she says something blatantly unsympathetic, call her on it. If anything, it creates tension, and tension is like foreplay… You want to build, and then release.
9. Paying the bill without asking for anything in return
It’s like walking up to a girl at a bar and asking if you can buy her a drink. How many times has that gotten you anywhere with the truly amazing women? You want to establish equality right away, in every way. Guys often fear doing this, as it may cause them to seem cheap. You’ll be amazed with what you can get away with saying when applying a smile as you tell her the rules.
10. Staying for too long
Do not ever allow the “so, … your place or mine?” part to come up on the first date, if you’re serious. Always display scarcity, and leave early. This is key in terms of establishing relationships, as you will want to walk into one on your terms, and guess what: If you have nothing better to do after hanging out with her for 2-3 hours, … you’re doomed for the rest of your relationship.
I hope that you will find inspiration in these tips and that you will share your ideas with me and other readers of this blog.
