Powerful Connections

The concept “Demonstration of High(er) Value” can be split up into several sub-categories, and in this post I will focus on the verbal part.

In terms of classic PUA (pick up artist) definition, verbal DHV stories are those you tell to build interest and / or attraction towards your persona from another persona. If you browse the Powerful Attraction Model, you will find that we do not include DHV stories anywhere, as we assume value in the opener. However, I do acknowledge that you need to know which topics to talk about to let a girl know just how lucky she is to be in your company!

When I talk with women, I hold back the stories about myself until we are in the Qualify/Relate stages of our interaction, as I want to make sure that she has invested first. This is in stark contrast to other philosophies, in which you are likely recommended to state your value quickly. Again, let me refer to my previous statement: You have value because you opened! You will display further value only if she is interesting enough to do so.

In general, there are four key areas that you will want to know and be able to adress:

• You are preselected
• You are a leader of your social circle
• You do things that excite you
• You have high standards

When do you want to deliver a DHV?

From personal experience I can tell you that you can walk up to a group, pull away a girl and just start off with a justification of why (if you need to) and then ask her a value-based question like: “Are you a cool person?” Listen, take mental notes, and then relate using one of the four key areas. Or, you can vibe with the group and ask someone in the group (not her) about what they do for fun - when they reply with one single word (even it is “why?”), you have opened the conversation thread and you can now relate:

Being preselected is all about letting the girl know that you are used to being with hot girls, so she can expect you to know how to treat her right and not go all loser-like on her. Preselection also relates to the concept “social proof” - if you are seen talking and having social fun with lots of people at a place, you will unconsciously be attributed higher value… An example of how I would do this is to out loud compare the reply to someting one of my female friends would think, discover why it’s interesting, and somewhere along the way convey why I hold that female as a friend: “wow, you’re right, that IS cool. One of my ex girlfriends says the same thing. People tend to judge her on her looks and fear approaching her, and it tears her up inside. I guess it’s not all that easy to be a model.”

Being a leader of your social circle is all about letting her know that you are fully capable of leading an interesting life without her, and also to get her thinking that you have cool friends, because as the saying goes: You can tell who people are through the company they keep. An example: “That’s cool?!?? I took out  one of my friends who runs a company that does X , and he says the exact same thing. I don’t get it, but I respect it.” - In doing this you also set up a possibility for her to qualify herself, in convincing you that what you are talking about IS cool. Personally I do not talk about this area, as I will apply social dynamic tactics instead, following the “don’t tell it, show it” maxim.

You will want to do and talk about things that are exciting to you. This is important, as it fuels your state, and it lets her know that you enjoy your life. It also lets her know what she’s in for if she hangs around for a longer period of time. “Yeah, that is cool. One of the coolest things I know is to do X. I feel so alive when I do it that [...]” - Really get into that state, and know that it is not important if she relates to your words - she is relating to your subcommunication.

In conveying your standards, you are subconsciously letting her know that you will not be chosen by her; it is a mutual decision, and she has to have certain personality features for you to be attracted to her. You are signalling many things in doing this, and one key application in my model of the world is to subtly convey what is or is not acceptable behavior between the two of us later on. An example from my world would be extensive use of preframing for what’s going to happen after we agree to exchange phone numbers, and then use callbacks to what we have talked about when I do close.

I’ll quite often say something like: “Don’t you just hate it when you give a guy his phone number, and he texts you the next day? … [response] … I love indepent people. When I give out my phone number to someone it’s because I find them interesting or attractive or sexy and intend to see them again within two weeks, … and patience is the key!”

Now, if you are experienced in seducing women, you will have guessed that the girl will pick up on that thread and start qualifying herself, either instantly or later on - and the second she ”competes” for your interest or starts relating to what you find attractive or sexy, you are good in taking her number or moving ahead to something more…

Stay tuned for the next post on nonverbal DHV.

Recently I had some great input from a happy reader of “Powerful Game - Strategies of a Highly Succesful Pick Up Artist”

In terms of seduction techniques, the definition of the hooking point (hook-point) is “the moment that the group and/or target no longer want you to leave.” Well, as far as I’m concerned, the hook-point has nothing to do with attraction.

Only in the models where the base belief about attraction is that it is your job to create it within other people, you will find relevance for the concept of the hook-point. To my mind, this actively contradicts the very definition of the hook-point itself.

In traditional pick up models, both attraction and interest phases are externally validated, and the close is viewed as the ultimate external validation; a reward for the pickup artist. Sure, it’s camouflaged behind the concepts of “rewarding the girl,” and when you work your way through that, at the very heart of the model you will typically find an expressed need for external validation. So, what they mean is: The close is my reward for a job well done. In brief, it looks like this:

Attraction (external), Interest (external), Close (my reward) - And the fun part is that we come up with excuses later on, after getting a verbal or non-verbal “no” for an answer: “I wasn’t interested, so I ejected.”

Well, at Powerful Attraction, our view on the art of seduction is a little bit different. We believe that we must search for things that interest us, and then decide whether it attracts us, before closing – which is a mutual reward. To sum this up:

Interest (internal), Attraction (internal), Close (mutual reward)

Or

“I depend on the feedback of others to be able to feel successful.” vs. “I choose to escalate based on my values.”

You see, the hook-point exists in a paradigm in which we MUST build attraction and must show value. In knowing that you show value just by opening the conversation, you are harvesting a mental abundance like no other. As you lock in with the group you are strengthening the frame of possible positive communication, and you start screening members of the group until you have a meaningful “target.”

The above paragraph is at the very center of everything we do at Powerful Attraction. As you will notice throughout the eBook “Powerful Game” we exempt you from the duty of having to generate attraction, and from building external interest. However, we provide you with concepts to strengthen your abilities in this area as a natural flow of the conversation.

It is my core belief that you have only few things to keep in mind in seductive communication. You need to evaluate if you are interested, through qualification, AND to communicate that you are attracted, both physically and verbally. The hook-point does not exist in this paradigm that to us is called “The Powerful Attraction Model” – as long as I am locked in with the group, I do not care if someone in it is attracted to me or not.

I’m much too busy figuring out who is attractive to me.

If you feel that you must put down a woman every time you meet one in order to lower her value, what are you assuming? You assume that she is better than you. You assume that she is above you. You assume that you are worth less than she is, and now you must tear her value down to your level of misery.

If you feel that you must put use a NEG with women every time you meet a really hot one, in order for you to feel valuable enough to talk to her… The problem is not that of presenting value.

Moreover, it lies in the fact of men approaching with the mindset and belief that “THEY must show high value, and they must lower her value.” I have met tons of guys through the years to discuss pickup, and the issue of “best strategy on approaching women” pops up repeatedly. They try to devise complex strategies in order to approach a woman as that you think they were planning to rob a bank. The interesting part is that regardless of who she is as a person, their first thought is, “I must go in, demonstrate higher value, and tear her down and lower hers.”

Well, what if I were to offer a different perspective on the concept “DHV” (Display High Value)?

What if you were to possess the mind-frame of having high value? I for one never meet a woman and assign a higher value to her, than I assign to my own personality.

First off… I don’t use a NEG to lower her value - I use the principle behind it in a light-hearted tonality to break her state, or that of the group she is in, to show her that I am not Joe Blow from around the block. In other words, it has become nothing but an ice-breaker tool for me, if she doesn’t respond to my opener in the positive frame I am putting out there.

Secondly… My game is extremely physically oriented, I touch people straight off the opener and stick to it until the close. All things serve as tools to apply touch, or vice versa… Why is that?

To me, life in general is about assuming that I have what it takes to meet my goals, and to act accordingly. Anything I do from the minute I wake up until I fall asleep circles around this assumption of myself.

All of the various communication principles I apply are tools to illustrate to the rest of the world that I assume that my value is high. That I have confidence in myself, no matter who’s competing, and in whatever context!

These things ARE tools to DHV… or as I’d say it, to DC (”Display Confidence”) and in a seductive context they are designed and used to 

1. Create a frame of sensual interaction
2. Enforce the frame of sensual interaction

In my opinion, DHV’ing becomes bad when it is thought of as an important step on the path to a woman’s bed. Why use a pair of crutches to get laid?

Why display high value for the “wrong” reasons? Why qualify to your target girl – when you know that a succesful pickup artist is the one that doesn’t bother to qualify for anything or anyone, and has everyone else qualifying for him/her at the same time?