Powerful Connections

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

Today I am a happy camper. The RealManConference is just about over down in Amsterdam, and I am pretty sure we will see the main Danish forum over-flowing with massive new seduction-oriented content. I am happy, as I greatly anticipate these new ideas, I feel the Danish community needs them.

Meanwhile, back at the Bat Cave, the final steps needed to launch the new Powerful Attraction web-shop, are being completed. As I look in my inbox to see how far along we are, I notice that my man in India is progressing with eBook layouts, and the credit card company has cleared our site. All we need now is to complete the DVD’s and to get full integration with the backend financial systems, so we can process orders automatically!

However, not all is great in the state of Denmark. Today, as I woke up, I caught myself thinking (uh-oh!)…

Last week I had a PowerBOOST! with two guys attending. I had closed the sign-ups at two participants, because that was the number I felt I could stand behind on a long week-end out. The guys did great, although I was thinking at a point - What is the foundation of our business? What does a seduction coach do?

Well, the answer to the first question is: Dreams that have not been met. And, the answer to the second question is: That depends.

I once read somewhere that guys and girls go about their dreams differently. Guys have a fantasy and seek to fulfill it. Girls have a fantasy and seek to NOT fulfill it.

Yeah, guys and girls sure do work and different ways… About a week ago, when interviewed for a book, I explained one of the oldest and to me most well-known paradigms of the seduction community: Guys have logic, Girls have chick-logic.

I’m not quite sure that the explanation went down as I had intended it, which was of course entirely my own fault. But, none-the-less, let me just recap the core of it all.

The guy / girl difference

When a guy (full of self-confidence) is out, and sees a wonderful girl, he thinks to himself: “Wow, that’s a hot girl, I want to have sex with her.” After having this epiphany, he heads over to the girl, charms his way in if needed, and does what he can to get her to go to his cave. They then have sex, and the guy wakes up in the morning thinking to himself: “YES! That’s a HOT girl, and I had sex with her. I’M DA MAN! I gotta call my friends and tell them all about it!”

The girl on the other hand, uses chick logic, and abides by social conformity. She’s out on the town, flirts with some guys, and ends up in one guy’s cave, where they have sex. In the morning, the girl wakes up, looks at the guy and thinks to herself: “I had great sex with that guy. That means he’s hot.”

Over the years, I have thought a lot about this story, and the signals in it. I’m not saying that I completely buy into it, well, being a guy, and having coached many other guys, I can tell you that the guy part is true. But, the girl part?

We can look at the story from different perspectives. Is it about the learning curve? Is it about rationalization and post-rationalization? Is it just a cool belief to have as an insecure guy venturing out into the nightlife to learn the philosophy and lifestyle of the pickup artist?

To me, the story is just what it is… A good story to discuss with intelligent girls that are always pissed off with the sexistic viewpoint, … which, of course, always entertains me to great extent. What is it about to you?

A few months ago, as I was driving home after a long day full of interesting business coaching sessions, I noticed something up ahead that really mad every alarm in my body fire up. The sight drove out a memory inside me. This was not just any memory it was a notion that had been taunting me for a full year.

You know the feeling right? There’s something that you know you should be doing, and yet when the opportune moment comes along, you neglect to take action.

Well, that moment had passed me by a few times during this last year, and this time something was different. Finally, I was ready. Finally, I saw the moment, recognized it, and acted upon it.

A year ago, when I had just completed my NLP, hypnosis and time line therapy training, I remember how full of hope and good will I was. One of the last things our trainer had pleaded with us, was that we use our new skill-set to aid those in real need. Three days later, while sitting at a café table with someone dear to me, we were approached by an older woman, wanting to sell me a rose. I categorically declined the transaction, and immediately after she left us, I felt guilty. She looked homeless. Did I betray the confidence of my trainer?

But, this particular day, things changed inside me. I had been reading a lot about Fish! Philosophy and I was engaged with a new business client that really felt enthused about working together with me. The next day I was to do a power-speak for a team of 25 people, in order for them to regain the motivation as individuals and as a team. My decisions were to talk about taking charge of your own mind and results, to be at cause in your own life rather than living at the effect of external factors, and to acknowledge that it’s ok not to be satisfied with your job, as long as you still remember to choose your own attitude towards DOING your job.

So, as I was going through my two-hour content and driving along, my doubt started to kick in. I started thinking if I was really living my own words, and as this thought hit me, this thing up ahead caught my attention. Immediately upon noticing the 10 year-old BMW my logical response was to keep driving. I had a lot of stuff to do, and needed to prepare my content for the benefit of 25 other people. Someone else could pull over and help the two persons waving at cars passing by.

“Hell no.” I overruled my initial response and lifted my foot from the gas. “These guys might rob me, and they might be in real need of help” I pulled up 10 meters in front of them, and one of the guys came running towards my car as I got out. “Oh shit, he’s gonna rob me,” I thought to myself. I went towards him not knowing what to expect. I have helped people out before for no reason other than helping them, but this situation was a bit out of the ordinary for me. This time I had stepped out of my way to do it. 

The man, one head shorter than me, with a very strong build, spoke sadly, almost as if he was crying. “Can you help me out? Please Mister?” he said in the most interesting Eastern European accent I have yet to hear. Of course, since he hadn’t knocked me over, I replied that I had stopped to help, and asked what I could do for them. The other guy was approaching.

“Well, you see, we’re on our way home, from Copenhagen, and our car has run out of gas. Can you please help us?”

“Sure thing,” I said… and asked him in what way he would like me to help him. “Well, we are out of cash, and I was wondering if you could spare some. I’ll give you this ring, it’s solid gold!”

Of course, at this point there was not a shred of doubt in my logical mind – these guys were pulling this trick on every last guy or girl that would stop their car for them. But, I had initially made up my mind to stop and help. So, as we stood there, I asked him what other options he could think of, and we didn’t really come up with any. In the end, I just looked at him, and smiled… “I have one paper note in my wallet, and I am going to give it to you. I say this out a good intention, as I tell you that I am not absolutely sure if your need is real… But I guess you really do need the money. Will you promise me to go straight to the gas station instead of stopping more people?”

He said yes, I gave him my note and I let him keep the ring. We smiled and shook hands, and I took off.

In my rear view mirror, I noticed them waving in another driver. Still, I felt GREAT for deciding to step out of my way and see what I could do to help someone, instead of just walking by, acting as if I never heard the cry. So, as I was feeling that great feeling, I thought to myself: “ They didn’t have enough gas to get the car to the next gas station, and that could be the reason that they are still pulling people over.”

Oh yeah, I used this story in my power-speak the next day. I prefer using real stories to illustrate important issues. I prefer taking action, and to make it a great day today.