Powerful Connections

I recently read a very interesting blog article at Boston PUA, in which the author attempts to explain recent developments in the worldwide seduction community. The article in question offers some explanations on the implosion of the pickup coaching market from an American pickup instructor’s perspective.

One of the key things mentioned in the article mentioned above is that the PUA coaching market has become over-commercialized. Many of my PUA friends around the world tell me that demand for pickup bootcamps has also declined greatly over the last four months. It’s a lot worse in the UK and the states than it is here in Denmark. As a result, many new aspiring pickup artists have set up shop as coaches only to discover how hard it is to succeed. Subsequently, they turn to establishing yet another forum so they can make money on affiliate deals.

The reality behind this trend is that with the launch and global exposure of best-selling book “The Game” by Neil Strauss, our little community changed, and it did so very quickly. The newcomers to the seduction scene are so much more pre-exposed to social success than we ourselves were as newcomers in 1999 (me) -2005 (Entropy). As a result, people with less than a year of exposure to the seduction community are now making fun of the gurus, who are but jokes to them. The guys that did well in 1999 had sex with 10 women a year. Where I was raised, that was normal for many of my friends, not for me. The guys that do well in the present day seduction community have sex with 50 women every year. Well, wooptidoo!

Let me tell you right away that I completely agree with the many socially successful newcomers. Putting yourself on a pedestal; proclaiming that you are a master PUA is ridiculous!

I am not making fun of anyone … in fact I have the utmost respect for “the old guard” for their personal development throughout the years. ALL development must be measured relative to the starting position. However, what’s hilarious is that the marketing of the “gurus” has not followed the development of the market profile. They promote their skills with women, and the result is dissatisfied customers, because the customers are already MORE successful with women than the gurus are.

Please, stop and think for a minute. Is it at all possible that you can be a great pickup artist, but a lousy coach?

A very famous English PUA visited Denmark in 2008, and a friend of mine used the opportunity to arrange a bootcamp with this English guy as a star coach. Some of my former clients attended, and a few weeks later I received an email from one of them asking me why on Earth we are not going global.

“He might be a great pickup artist but what he actually gave me for my money was nothing compared to the learning I got through your questions.”

I can tell you right away that both the English guy and my former client can probably out-game me any day of the week. So what?

This is what the gurus obviously fail to understand, when they set up shop as “coaches”…  In coaching, it does not matter if you are an expert in picking up women. What matters is your desire to understand your client’s model of the world and deliver coaching to suit his needs. I actually know a guy who quit pickup coaching when a guy at his workshop out-gamed him in a set! (One could be tempted to ask, was this man actually coaching his client, or was he pick-pocketing his client’s wallet with some show-boating?)

We recently had a discussion in our team as to where the market is going. This very interesting discussion was spawned by the fact that since the financial crisis kicked in, many of our competitors in the Danish market have suddenly gone very silent. One of my coaches was worried that it would affect us as well, and begged me to initiate a change in our brand values. “The market is eroding. We need to position ourselves as a pickup bootcamp company,” he said, “else we will lose business.”

To me, one of the key things that separate successful pickup artists and successful pickup coaches is the perception of their own ability to reach a result in terms of picking up women.  Poor coaches will need to keep up the appearance that they are successful with women – after all, if they were not, what would they have to sell?

I do not care if I am successful with women or not which, ironically, helps me to be extremely relaxed around women. My main concern for you is that you will meet your desired outcomes in life.

So, here’s what I replied:

“At Powerful Connections, we see seduction as a metaphor for living your potential and, as such, it is a perfect platform to conduct life coaching. The customers are fleeing the market because they decided to have their wallets lifted by one of the many great pickup artists with no clue on how to coach, … instead of engaging one of the very few great coaches that know how to pickup women successfully.”

In fact, I believe the above to be my entire response to the development of the seduction community in 2008. I also believe that it is one of the key foundations upon which we will build our success in 2009.

I know that you will make 2009 a great year in your life and the life of people you meet!

A few days ago a guy came by our house to thoroughly check it for flaws before we put it up for sale. In case you hadn’t noticed, there’s a worldwide financial crisis going on, and the timing could not be worse… At all.

But hey, neither me or the ex girlfriend wish to live in the house, so after careful consideration, we decided a sale to be the best option.

As I was walking around in- and  outside the house with this guy, I started noticing things about the house that I had not noticed before. I really like this house, despite whatever flaws I have come across, … I noticed the words inside myself as he was speaking about stuff in need of our attention before a sale.

Being who and what I have decided to be I chose to listen, evaluate, and then recommend priorities and actions for my ex girlfriend next time she would come by our house. As I listened to him, I started noticing some cracks in the outer walls. I had never noticed them before. Funny how we sometimes see cracks in our houses, when we start looking for them, huh?

Old houses will eventually get cracks, and the cracks in our house are of pure cosmetic importance. Not something we can do anything about ourselves. I’m a coach, not a mason or a painter. The small cracks in the walls will not determine if our house is sold or not. I believe that the warmth inside this house, the dreams that go with it, and the endless possibilities in terms of redecorating the house to fit your values and attitudes are the things you will like about my house. I hope you do too, don’t you? 

We entered the garage, and I know that we have a big issue out there in terms of shitty electrical wiring. But, hey, it’s a garage, … it’s where I store all the things I don’t have time to deal with at the moment. I bet you know that place too, right? Then I started thinking from a wider perspective: What if it starts a fire one day? What if my choice to neglect maintenance of the electrical system causes the entire house to burn to the ground? As he looked further, he started changing his tonality: “You need to look into this NOW.”

Certain situations in life will warrant investing in some of the things you have previously chosen to ignore. In my life, it is the end of a long-term relationship. Our love for each other has helped us ignore the cracks of the house, and neglect taking action on the seriously flawed electrical wiring.

Well, now that we have decided not to focus on what works between us, I am thinking clearly: The electrical wiring is something I would classify as a key component of the house. If it malfunctions I will have no fridge, phone, internet, washing machine or whatever utility I need to run my life - and my business.

Some of the most beautiful houses in this world get tons of maintenance each year. New paint, windows are cleaned, gardens are landscaped, doors are replaced, expensive furniture to make living easy. Many of us dream of living in these beautiful houses, and some settle for those that aren’t fully maintained. There’s just something absolutely romantic about a house you can define with your own hands.

None of that matters if the wiring inside is shot. After all, why invest a million dollars in beautiful furniture or a landscaped garden, if you know that you need to look after the vital parts of your house first - or risk losing everything in a fire?

When you look deep inside your own house, I know you will make sure to remember how great your wiring is, and you will be able to accept the cosmetical flaws for what they are.  Surface flaws are easily fixed, and sure… our house looks great. Not all things that shine are made of gold, you know?

First things first. I’m calling an electrician tomorrow to help me analyze the wiring inside this house.

You still think I was writing about my house, don’t you? ;-)

It’s been a long while since I first decided to write an e-book with a summary of my favorite strategies for pickup and life success. And now it’s ready! Yes, It’s READY folks… I hope you will enjoy it.

This book is for all the guys that helped me in the early years of my pickup artist life, and most definitely for all the guys and girls that I have had the priviledge of helping later on.

First and most of all I want to recognize Steve Linder, my NLP trainer, for being the man he is. Many of the tools in my book are some that I have learned from him, and there is not a better and more caring coach out there.

A special big thank you goes out to my friend Mrhviid, without whom I would not be where I am today. You are without a doubt the ugliest pickup artist I know, but dammit I love you. And you are one of the truly great PUA’s out there, to my mind the best in Northern Europe.

Also, I need to thank the “bigtime” PUA instructors… and my local Danish competitors… You have inspired us to eliminate canned material altogether, and women everywhere benefit from it!