Powerful Connections

Several of my coaching clients have asked me to help them become more dominent on online dating sites or via Facebook, MySpace and similar social media sites. Personally, I prefer face to face seduction, the online scene has never really been my “thing.” However, my recent “fame” as a participant on a local docu-soap that follows the lives of single people, I have received, uhmmmm, quite a few fan letters and other - let’s put it mildly - dubious requests from women wanting to hook up with me.

Their platform of choice? What else, if not Facebook!

This, and the fact that my team and I are currently developing a 6-month personal transformation program that launches through Denmark-based online dating sites in the first quarter of 2010, has sparked my curiosity on the subject. We signed one of the best online dating dominators in Denmark to cover this specific section of our transformation program, and I have to say: The advice he provides in his guide is GOLDEN.

So I started thinking… maybe a blog article on the topic “How to Use Facebook & Other Social Media to Rake in Tons of Girls” would be a nifty little thing to add to the site, and I began to do some research. After all, in this world you advance by action, and where else would you go, if not Google!

If you google well - I did - you will come by a site called MatchBook Method - At this place they promise you a sure-fire system that will let you hook up with 1 in 3 girls you contact.

Through thoroughly tested copy / paste messages, combined only with a little spice of your own… Wow!

I am basically linking out to MBM because, well, I signed up for their freebie and I’m not dissapointed. And trust me when I tell you, I am very picky when it comes down to external recommendations! 

Both the advice of my online dating specialist and that of MatchBook look, sound, taste and smell alike; they are both brilliant in each their own way, and since our own guide is a) not ready for the public until next quarter, and b) not translated into English until summer 2010, I strongly recommend that you check out MatchBook and get their “Message to Meet” handbook with complete copy / paste messages for every conceivable Facebook situation!

All in all, this site holds a lot more of information on the topic of Online Dating than I can ever provide you with - so a link to them is warranted by all measures!

And yes, A.J., the main driver behind the MatchBook Method, provides a full and complete money back guarantee, so it’s a no-risk deal for you if you decide to check out the “Message to Meet” handbook. If you want to boost your online dating skills, go ahead and check it out. I trust you will find it to be well worth your time!

Here’s to your online dating success!

Anders Tryka

Recently I had some great input from a happy reader of “Powerful Game - Strategies of a Highly Succesful Pick Up Artist”

In terms of seduction techniques, the definition of the hooking point (hook-point) is “the moment that the group and/or target no longer want you to leave.” Well, as far as I’m concerned, the hook-point has nothing to do with attraction.

Only in the models where the base belief about attraction is that it is your job to create it within other people, you will find relevance for the concept of the hook-point. To my mind, this actively contradicts the very definition of the hook-point itself.

In traditional pick up models, both attraction and interest phases are externally validated, and the close is viewed as the ultimate external validation; a reward for the pickup artist. Sure, it’s camouflaged behind the concepts of “rewarding the girl,” and when you work your way through that, at the very heart of the model you will typically find an expressed need for external validation. So, what they mean is: The close is my reward for a job well done. In brief, it looks like this:

Attraction (external), Interest (external), Close (my reward) - And the fun part is that we come up with excuses later on, after getting a verbal or non-verbal “no” for an answer: “I wasn’t interested, so I ejected.”

Well, at Powerful Attraction, our view on the art of seduction is a little bit different. We believe that we must search for things that interest us, and then decide whether it attracts us, before closing – which is a mutual reward. To sum this up:

Interest (internal), Attraction (internal), Close (mutual reward)

Or

“I depend on the feedback of others to be able to feel successful.” vs. “I choose to escalate based on my values.”

You see, the hook-point exists in a paradigm in which we MUST build attraction and must show value. In knowing that you show value just by opening the conversation, you are harvesting a mental abundance like no other. As you lock in with the group you are strengthening the frame of possible positive communication, and you start screening members of the group until you have a meaningful “target.”

The above paragraph is at the very center of everything we do at Powerful Attraction. As you will notice throughout the eBook “Powerful Game” we exempt you from the duty of having to generate attraction, and from building external interest. However, we provide you with concepts to strengthen your abilities in this area as a natural flow of the conversation.

It is my core belief that you have only few things to keep in mind in seductive communication. You need to evaluate if you are interested, through qualification, AND to communicate that you are attracted, both physically and verbally. The hook-point does not exist in this paradigm that to us is called “The Powerful Attraction Model” – as long as I am locked in with the group, I do not care if someone in it is attracted to me or not.

I’m much too busy figuring out who is attractive to me.

At present, I am working on two new eBook projects, the first of these has the premise on following up on that first meeting with the girl. Instead of just developing the books all alone with feedback only from my peers, I am thinking that I will share my book content ideas on the blog.

Please, PLEASE feel free to e-mail me or comment with your ideas, as it will only make for a better book in the end, right?

Let me just skip into the section of the first date, and some advice on what NOT to do. Here are some of the top reasons your dates can go bad – quickly.

1. Arrange the usual date

I don’t know about you but… X-Men and pop corn don’t really make a happy date these days. Why waste time in a dark cinema not looking at each other, not being able to talk, when you can arrange a fantastic trip out under the stars with a bottle of white wine instead? This even has a lower price, unless you plan on dishing up with caviar as well.

2. Not continuing the good stuff from your first meeting

On far too many occasions the new relationship is stranded after (on) the first date. Wannabe pickup artists have long promoted the concept of keeping the subjects of Day 2 (the first date) identical to that of the first meeting. For one thing, they fear to seem incongruent with the role they have taken on. Another key concept is that of re-activating the same notions that made the girl “buy” you in the first place. The second concept I highly recommend.

3. Sitting across the table from your date

Do not ever do this. If you go somewhere to eat or drink something, let the girl sit down first, and then sit down right next to her – it is much easier to access each other physically this way, and makes for an easy-flowing conversation.

4. Talking about your job as if it’s interesting

It’s  not. What you CONTRIBUTE to the world, and what you enable others to feel is. How you do it is highly irrelevant.

5. Asking about what she does

Do you want to be one of the 20 guys she has dated, or do you want to stand out? Ask about what her dreams are, or what drives her today. “Normal” girls will respond “Oh I’m a nurse…” whereas the more creative and intelligent girls will say: “I enjoy helping people feel safe…” This makes a hell of a difference!

6. Neglecting to touch her physically

If you do not show physical interest on the date, the girl will either think that you’re a puss, gay or emotionally detached. That’s not my speculation, that’s a fact.

7. Ignoring her interest signals

If you do not pick up on her subtle signals of interest and respond in kind, she will start looking for something else. Chances are though, that you normally do not pick up on her signals. Studies have shown that most men are too busy with thinking about sex to actually notice female signals of interest unless absolutely obvious.

8. Follow her every whim

I don’t know about you, … Personally, I hate a girl that poses no conversational challenge or will do whatever I ask of her, sometimes even without having to ask. Do you think that women are any different? If she says something blatantly unsympathetic, call her on it. If anything, it creates tension, and tension is like foreplay… You want to build, and then release.

9. Paying the bill without asking for anything in return

It’s like walking up to a girl at a bar and asking if you can buy her a drink. How many times has that gotten you anywhere with the truly amazing women? You want to establish equality right away, in every way. Guys often fear doing this, as it may cause them to seem cheap. You’ll be amazed with what you can get away with saying when applying a smile as you tell her the rules.

10. Staying for too long

Do not ever allow the “so, … your place or mine?” part to come up on the first date, if you’re serious. Always display scarcity, and leave early. This is key in terms of establishing relationships, as you will want to walk into one on your terms, and guess what: If you have nothing better to do after hanging out with her for 2-3 hours, … you’re doomed for the rest of your relationship.

I hope that you will find inspiration in these tips and that you will share your ideas with me and other readers of this blog.