Powerful Connections

Hi guys & girls

My sincerest apologies: I am extremely busy with a big project that will be available sometime during this fall, and I have prioritized this slightly over the blog. Even so, I thought I’d share a selection of openers from the past weeks.

Without further prelude, here’s a list of a few of the more curious openers I have used in my approaches this summer.

ME: Hi
HER: Get lost.
ME: Wow, who pissed you off? [sit down]
HER: I don’t want to talk with you, get lost!
ME: Well, why are you sitting next to me then?
HER: I was here first!
ME: Why are you talking to me? I don’t want to talk with you, get lost!
HER: [Goes to the bar]
ME: [Turn around, talk to random girl, her friend no doubt.]
HER: [Comes back, looks pissed]
ME: I kept your seat. Where’s my beer?
HER: [smiling]

Casual talk ensues.

+++

A girl has been looking at me from two seats over as I am sitting at a bar. She gets up, walks over, stands behind me, leans in and smells my neck.

ME: You’re sexy… Too bad you’re so shy, otherwise I would have taken down your number a long time ago.
HER: [Blushes, goes back to her friends]
ME: [loudly] IF you want to give me your number so we can hook up some other time, just come back here some time.
HER: [walks back]

+++

HER: [walks through the door, looks at the dance-floor, looks sad/pissed]
ME: Now what?
HER: We just wanna dance, but the dance-floor’s empty!
ME: I’m pretty sure that you can get some guys out there with you.
HER: Let’s dance!
ME: Not now. I’m waiting!
HER: For what?
ME: For you to dance and get hot inside beause you will be fantasizing about me.
HER: [Smiles. Dances. Looks over now and then]

Some drunk fool approaches her on the dance-floor, she sends me the “save me eyes.” I send her back the “Loser” signal, smile and sip my beer. After a few minutes of her in agony I go out there and cut in front of the guy.

ME: You owe me.
HER: Yes I do.
ME: Brunch [I pull out my phone]
HER: OK [enters her phone number]

+++

A girl sits alone by a bar as she is approached by some random guy. I notice a lot of non-verbal IOD’s (indicators of dis-interest). The guy eventually gets it and leaves. Shortly after this, the girl stands up and starts walking from her end of the bar towards the dance-floor where I am sitting. I reach out my hand.

ME: Stop!
HER: …
ME: I just have to tell you… I have seen lots of girls reject the advances of lots of guys, and I have to pay you a compliment. You were exceptionally nice to that guy just now, even though it was clear from a mile away that you wanted him to leave. He’s having a good night because you have a great heart.
HER: [DDB (doggy dinner bowl look in her eyes)]
ME: [I get up, take her hand, and lead her towards the dance-floor] You deserve a great experience.

+++

ME: I know this may seem weird.
HER: Eeeeehm… what?
ME: That I’m just stopping right here, right in my tracks. I have a question.
HER: … OK?
ME: It’s OK if you don’t want to answer. It’s kind of personal.
HER: Tell me?
ME: Well, actually I feel kind of stupid in asking such a deep question to a girl I’m only just getting to know.
HER: No no, it’s alright. What is it?
ME: Do you like pasta?

+++

ME: Wow, you’re so sexy I just want to… Oh my God, where are my manners? HI!
HER: Ehm, hi.
ME: I need your help.
HER: For what???
ME: Well, I don’t know WHY… But YOU are the one that’s going to help me.
HER: With what???
ME: I forgot how to tie my shoe-laces [pointing down]
HER: Oh my God, that’s lame! [looks annoyed]
ME: Hey, just tell me if you don’t remember either! Seriously. OK, I’ll give you a beer if you teach me.
HER: [my foot goes on her lap, she ties my shoe-laces]

+++

ME: Grrrrrrrrrraaaaauuuwwww
HER: Hi, - are you out alone?
ME: Oh my GOD, what kind of stupid question is that. Do you have a hard time making contact with people?
HER: Jezzz, you have a bad mouth!
ME: Of course, that’s why I’m out all alone. You look cute when you try to act as if you’re insulted. [smile]
ME: I’m Anders. Where are your friends?
HER: I’m out alone.
ME: Not any more. But it’s going to cost you a beer and 500 money’s worth. - Or a smile.
HER: [smile]

+++

ME: Hey pussycat
HER: Meeeeaaaaauww.
ME: Pussycats don’t say that. They go flap flap flap flap [pussy-like sounds]
HER: [blushing] You’re a pervert!
ME: Yeah, you taught me.
HER: What?
ME: Confusion is sexy. Who are you behind your confusion pussycat?

2008 was the year of “It’s not important what you say when you approach…” and a lot of guys out there have since communicated that they were fed up by these remarks. One could wonder why these guys are fed up with this phrase? Is it because they swear by canned openers? Is it because the phrase itself is not explained in detail? 

In truth, it may be due to both factors, and it may be due to none of them.

The seduction community has taken a turn towards natural game, natural pickup, being a PUA that has no need for canned routines, … and rigtfully so. I for one know that it is NOT important what you say - on our workshops, it’s the first thing guys get to experience through their own actions. We actually assign various keywords they must use in their opening sentence to our participants with less than 3 seconds notice.

Rather than just explaining it in this blog article - let me try and explain it on video:

Maybe you recognize this situation: You were sitting at a bar or walking down the street, and you saw a gorgeous girl walking close by. You probably thought something like “wow, she’s hot, I wish I could talk to her,” and as she walked by you, as the moment of opportunity had vanished forever, you probably kicked into a new pattern of thought like: “Why didn’t I just… DAYUM, she was hot!”

Perhaps you proceeded with “I know exactly what I… Oh my God, that would have been SO cool.”

Now, even though you already know the right thing to do the next time an amazingly beautiful woman walks by, you say nothing - just like before. Since this pattern doesn’t make sense, you now start to rationalize your behavior:  “I’m out of her league, so I might as well just spare myself the embarrassment.” You may have blamed the choice on the clothes you were wearing, or the fact that you had eaten a ton of garlic the day before, who knows what that was for you..?

Don’t worry. You are not alone. In fact, lots of GREAT pick up artists out there run the same strategy with the women they think are super hot, too. They are going MENTAL trying to figure out the right approach – until the moment is gone.

Many of us easily go through our entire lives settling for less than we really, truly desire. Under false assumptions, I might add. We believe in measuring in terms of external success or failure… And failure HURTS! So we come up with excuses to explain our decision not to act.

But, what is success, anyway?

fact of the matter is that in successfully meeting and attracting women, few presuppositions exist. As a member of the PUA community since 1999 and through my experiences as a certified coach and master of NLP, I have learned this: Pick-up and attraction models don’t work because they are the hidden code or super stealthy communication methods. They all work because… YOU believe they work.

Let us rationalize over this for a second. If we are 7 billion people on the face of the planet, and every person is infinitely complex then, assuming one cannot seduce one self, is it at all possible that the number of pick up models out there equals (7 billion x 7 billion) – 7 billion. That being the case, how do YOU know that you are practicing THE model above them all? The answer is simple: It has worked for you or someone else once or more, so now you believe you are armed with the right ammo!

No matter what model you follow, one of the most important presuppositions of being successful with women is to open the conversation every time you see an attractive girl. Some guru’s will have you use opinion openers, others will ask that you state your sexual desires, and some will tell you to talk about fruit as if  you were having sex with it, and then there are those that will tell you that you have to immediately say something that lowers a hot girl’s value. Confused? The most common excuse I hear from newcomers is: “I don’t know what to say!”

In reality, what you say is not as important as what you believe. The odds are constantly in your favor, as long as you take a crack at it!

The verbal opener doesn’t matter at all: The very instant we initiate conversation with another person or group we induce a break-state and open a physical and mental vacuum in the process. As you step into that vacuum and change the subject and the group dynamics, it’s NATURAL, and what’s more… It displays tremendous confidence and VALUE. Instead of being afraid that the value you bring to the table is not enough, … how about assuming that you display undeniable value through initiating a no bullshit, light-hearted conversation? In her mind, it’s in dire contrast to the 20 guys that walked up and asked her for a light, I can tell you that much.

A key point for me to make here: If you measure your success on how many phone numbers you get per night, you are – no matter how you twist and turn it – depending on other people’s choices to determine whether or not you achieve your success criteria. If you measure how many times you hand a girl your phone, you alone determine how much you will over-perform.

Knowing this, you can approach and open with ANYTHING that comes to your mind. If it’s a compliment, fine! If it’s in Latin, fine! You can even say NOTHING and still open JUST FINE! If the girl tells you to fuck yourself, fine! Your goal was to approach and get to know if she was a person that you could bless, and you will have a great time analyzing the meaning of the feedback and how you can adapt instantly by asking her friends: “Is she always this rude?”

I dare you to go Bar X tonight, walk up to a woman and ask her for directions for Bar X, and then sit down beside her and reward her with a compliment for kindly telling you.

At what pace do you think you will evolve your game, when you start applying this mindset with women or in any other aspect of your life? Now that you possess this wisdom, is it at all possible that you will just ask the next girl to stop, and then learn from what happens next?

You can read a lot more about these strategies and find some really powerful tools to attract and connect with women in my eBook “Powerful Game – Strategies of a Highly Successful Pick Up Artist” – or simply by frequently checking in with this blog.