Powerful Connections

Several of my coaching clients have asked me to help them become more dominent on online dating sites or via Facebook, MySpace and similar social media sites. Personally, I prefer face to face seduction, the online scene has never really been my “thing.” However, my recent “fame” as a participant on a local docu-soap that follows the lives of single people, I have received, uhmmmm, quite a few fan letters and other - let’s put it mildly - dubious requests from women wanting to hook up with me.

Their platform of choice? What else, if not Facebook!

This, and the fact that my team and I are currently developing a 6-month personal transformation program that launches through Denmark-based online dating sites in the first quarter of 2010, has sparked my curiosity on the subject. We signed one of the best online dating dominators in Denmark to cover this specific section of our transformation program, and I have to say: The advice he provides in his guide is GOLDEN.

So I started thinking… maybe a blog article on the topic “How to Use Facebook & Other Social Media to Rake in Tons of Girls” would be a nifty little thing to add to the site, and I began to do some research. After all, in this world you advance by action, and where else would you go, if not Google!

If you google well - I did - you will come by a site called MatchBook Method - At this place they promise you a sure-fire system that will let you hook up with 1 in 3 girls you contact.

Through thoroughly tested copy / paste messages, combined only with a little spice of your own… Wow!

I am basically linking out to MBM because, well, I signed up for their freebie and I’m not dissapointed. And trust me when I tell you, I am very picky when it comes down to external recommendations! 

Both the advice of my online dating specialist and that of MatchBook look, sound, taste and smell alike; they are both brilliant in each their own way, and since our own guide is a) not ready for the public until next quarter, and b) not translated into English until summer 2010, I strongly recommend that you check out MatchBook and get their “Message to Meet” handbook with complete copy / paste messages for every conceivable Facebook situation!

All in all, this site holds a lot more of information on the topic of Online Dating than I can ever provide you with - so a link to them is warranted by all measures!

And yes, A.J., the main driver behind the MatchBook Method, provides a full and complete money back guarantee, so it’s a no-risk deal for you if you decide to check out the “Message to Meet” handbook. If you want to boost your online dating skills, go ahead and check it out. I trust you will find it to be well worth your time!

Here’s to your online dating success!

Anders Tryka

In PUA Cold Reads - Part II, I will walk you through some more advanced cold read stuff and show you exactly how the cold read technique works through examples a few of the cold reads I have done in the past.

I call this post Part II, because I want to introduce you to how to combine basic cold reading with some of the other basic skills that some of the great PUA’s I know apply either consciously or unconsciously. If you’re experienced in the art of seduction, you might think to yourself that it looks pretty basic, and yes, it does indeed. Go beneath the surface.

Cold Reads – How they work

You may remember the simple structure from PUA Cold Reads Part I

You come up with a read – if they say ”yes,” you say: ”Yes, AND [any statement].”

If, on the other hand, they say ”no,” you quickly say ”BUT [oppositely directed statement].”

Now there’s nothing exceptional about that in and of itself. But, let’s break down exactly how it works:

YES: The ”AND” links the next statement to the first statement using causality logic. ”and that’s why – and because of / and if X – then Y”

It becomes easier for your mind to accept my second suggestion, because it is directly linked to the initial cold read, isn’t it?

NO: The word ”BUT” effectively negates your previous statement. A follow-up with a statement in an opposite direction will improve your odds of hitting a ”YES.”

When you get a ”no,” timing is critical. Many people begin cold reading and experience that it doesn’t work, because they leave the ”no” hanging in the air for far too long, before they come up with a ”BUT x…” - follow through quickly. Say the word BUT, and then trust your unconscious mind to come up with something brilliant. Trust that your unconscious mind knows exactly what to do, and you will have a lot of fun with cold reads.

Examples from the real world

You will notice that I combine several communication aspects in my interactions, such as proximity game, setting up compliance frames, discrete prizing, implied openers, push/pull and lots more that is weaved into the cold reads. That’s why seduction as an art is not easy to master inside: It’s a combination of techniques – rather than a range of quick fix solutions.

A friend of mine threw a batchelor party some time back, and in the late hours of the day, we toured the bars in his town. One of his friends was very curious about how it actually plays out when a PUA goes to work, and after some deep discussion with him, I got up from our table and went to the bar to get a refill. I notice a very beautiful girl standing there and position myself right next to her and start working my proximity (link) thing.

The second time she glances at me and turns back I tap her shoulder. She smiles as she looks at me.

ME: ”You know, I’m a no bullshit kind of guy, and I always make it a point to give credit where credit is due. Thank you.”

her: ”What did I do?”

ME: ”That’s exactly it – you haven’t done anything yet. I just noticed you sitting on the chair.”

her: ”Erhm, OK?”

ME: ”Yeah. I can’t help myself, I just have to tell you that you seem like a person that really cares about other people. You have an authentic glow to you that I cannot put into words.”

Her: [blushes]

ME: ”Yes, AND, that’s something I really appreciate in people. It tells me you are a person that loves your life, AND you love people for who they really are.”

Her: ”Gee…” [all lamps are fired up] ”Thanks!”

ME: ”Anyway, I have to go sit with my friends some more, I just thought I’d tell you that you made my day a whole lot better.”

[note: I could have carried it a lot further before walking off, and I didn't – Simply because I love to leave cliff-hangers in a room]

I give her a nudge on the shoulder and head back to our table without looking back. My friend is fired up, … She checked me out without looking away for a second until moments after I sat down. Shortly after this I chatted up another girl at the same venue.

ME: ”You look like a NAAAAUGTHY girl.”

Her: ”I do?” (says the mouth – body says ”no”)

ME: ”But at the same time I get this vibe from you… It’s like you’re a very strong person putting on a game face to lure in guys that are insecure.”

Her: ”Hmmm, maybe!” (that’s a ”yes”)

ME:”Yeah, and that’s why I have a really good feeling about you being able to sense the intentions of other people. I bet you I can guess what you do for a living.”

Her: ”Really? OK, take a guess?”

Me: ”With that profile, I bet you work at McDonald’s!”

Her: [rolls eyes]

Me: ”Hahaha, I’m kidding. Seriously, your hands are too nice for a McDonald’s girl. You can be my secretary – you look like you know how to use a computer for other stuff than facebook updates.”

[note: I do not negate with a BUT, instead I open up a push/pull roleplay thread. Right now I have 6 threads to use anywhere in the conversation: strong persona definitions, why we put on a game face, insecure guys, sensing intentions (which indirectly implies that she senses MY intentions), McDonald's and facebook.]

I submitted an oath when I was certified in NLP that I would only use my influencing skills …  I will not go into further details on how one could combine the cold reads with sleight of mouth or other patterns, as I have seen many guys do this without any respect for the girls they talk with. However, lots of other people have written something about sleight of mouth and patterning, and if you really want to get freaky with the topic of conversational persuasion skills, I recommend that you read what persuasion expert Jian Wang has to say on the topic:

Check out “How to Hypnotically Influence Other People”, this guy has a lot of interesting and seduction parallel stuff packed into his material.

Make this day a great one!