Powerful Connections

You must measure yourself on your ability to act, and evaluate the results of your actions independently of your potential. 

Consequence: Consciously reframe externally referenced goals into internally referenced goals, and enjoy the power of acting.

You must seek to establish a frame of positive communication and thereby open a window of opportunity, and it is your ability to act on your nature and communicate freely that drives open that window. 

Consequence: Approach people and say whatever positive thought or observation comes to mind!

You must enforce a frame of sensual communication immediately upon identifying that you are attracted to someone, thereby widening the window of opportunity. 

Consequence: Touch people physically from the first second you internally acknowledge your interest in or attraction to them. This includes guys!

You must communicate in terms of emotions and values in order to create genuine and long-lasting connections, thereby widening the window of opportunity. 

Consequence: Help your counter-part bring forward what they value and the emotions associated with these values, and tell them how you feel about it.

You must follow through on the communication that you are sending out through the frame of sensual communication, in order to make the window of opportunity stay open. 

Consequence: Be brave, and walk the talk of principle #2. Always reward positive behavior of your counter-part with (verbal or physical) escalation.

You must respect the counter-part in the positive and sensual communication frames, and move forward together in the pace within these frames, thereby ensuring that one of you can move through the window of opportunity.

Consequence: Communicate with ambiguity so that the counter-part can decide to move through the frame. Close the deal when it is natural to both of you.

Dear friend,

A few days ago I received a very special Christmas present. A reader of my new eBook “Powerful Game - Strategies of a Highly Successful Pickup Artist” decided to write a full review of the book after reading it and applying the principles in his life. I was amazed to see how the contents of the book touched him, and I feel priviledged that he has let me share this review with you.

The reviewer is 27 years old and lives in Denmark. Here’s the story:

“Powerful Game - Strategies of a Highly Successful Pickup Artist” teaches a pickup style that uses no openers, routines, or complex diagrams á la Mystery. The author, Anders Tryka a.k.a. “Dreamz”, calls this “natural game.”

The spirit of Anders’ pickup style taught in Powerful Game can be likened to the martial art of Krav Maga. Krav Maga differs from the traditional martial arts in that it is based on natural body movements, thereby making it “easy to learn, and hard to forget”. In Krav Maga you don’t learn complicated sequences of contortionist body movements, no 720 turnaround jump-kicks. You get a framework and a mindset for defending yourself, which is designed to be quickly absorbed in your body and spirit.

I see this resembled in Powerful Game, where Anders likewise provides a framework and a mindset. The book is organized in two parts. The first part explores tools for creating a great life of your own choosing. The second section has an explicit attraction focus.

I absolutely  recommend not skipping the first half of the book. Many of the concepts here come from the world of NLP: setting SMART goals, re-framing all that happens in your world to the positive, being your own authority in life (internally referencing), understanding the stages of learning, etc. These are tools for boosting your inner game. I have been working with an NLP coach for just over a year, using these very tools. I can attest that using these tools with faith will enable you to become the person you want to be. In traditional PUA-speak (which Anders is avoiding as much as possible in this book), this section shows you a way to becoming the Alpha-male version of yourself.

The second half of the book is dedicated to specific principles of attraction. There are no canned openers, routines, kiss-, phone- or f-close recipes. The verbal techniques are not phrases but patterns – and I mean easily applicable and memorable patterns. For example, on the topic of “openers” (initiating conversation), Anders teaches that it doesn’t really matter what you say. It’s all about how you say it, and how you combine statements and questions. Using these guidelines allows you to make up congruent openers on the spot. As with all concepts presented in the book, you learn the how and the why, as opposed to any canned specifically so recipes.

I especially like the book’s focus on social dynamics, which again reminds me of Krav Maga. The martial art of Krav Maga teaches spatial awareness, or “tactical behavior”. You must be aware of your surroundings to make use of them, rather than be surprised by the guy with the crowbar behind you. Likewise in Powerful Game, Anders teaches effective techniques for understanding and manipulating social dynamics. Being aware of what’s going on around you is similarly important in both arts.

In Powerful Game as in Krav Maga, you take charge: verbally and physically. For example, how do you join a group of people for attracting one of the girls in it? Groups of people can be joined by briefly breaking the group’s conversational flow, and then establishing yourself as a new member in the group. This is achieved by creating a vacuum that can be used for stepping into the group both verbally and physically (the concept of “lock-in”). As all the other attraction techniques taught in the book, lock-in (which I have tried – it’s an absolute rush when you make it happen for the first time!) is easy to learn and hard to forget.

My one point of criticism is, that the book could have used more polishing. The reading flow is broken at times by clunky sentence structure.

On the whole I wholeheartedly recommend this book – because there’s so much Krav Maga over it. This is a holistic approach to having a great life and excelling at pickup, that is easy to learn, and hard to forget.

A few days ago a guy came by our house to thoroughly check it for flaws before we put it up for sale. In case you hadn’t noticed, there’s a worldwide financial crisis going on, and the timing could not be worse… At all.

But hey, neither me or the ex girlfriend wish to live in the house, so after careful consideration, we decided a sale to be the best option.

As I was walking around in- and  outside the house with this guy, I started noticing things about the house that I had not noticed before. I really like this house, despite whatever flaws I have come across, … I noticed the words inside myself as he was speaking about stuff in need of our attention before a sale.

Being who and what I have decided to be I chose to listen, evaluate, and then recommend priorities and actions for my ex girlfriend next time she would come by our house. As I listened to him, I started noticing some cracks in the outer walls. I had never noticed them before. Funny how we sometimes see cracks in our houses, when we start looking for them, huh?

Old houses will eventually get cracks, and the cracks in our house are of pure cosmetic importance. Not something we can do anything about ourselves. I’m a coach, not a mason or a painter. The small cracks in the walls will not determine if our house is sold or not. I believe that the warmth inside this house, the dreams that go with it, and the endless possibilities in terms of redecorating the house to fit your values and attitudes are the things you will like about my house. I hope you do too, don’t you? 

We entered the garage, and I know that we have a big issue out there in terms of shitty electrical wiring. But, hey, it’s a garage, … it’s where I store all the things I don’t have time to deal with at the moment. I bet you know that place too, right? Then I started thinking from a wider perspective: What if it starts a fire one day? What if my choice to neglect maintenance of the electrical system causes the entire house to burn to the ground? As he looked further, he started changing his tonality: “You need to look into this NOW.”

Certain situations in life will warrant investing in some of the things you have previously chosen to ignore. In my life, it is the end of a long-term relationship. Our love for each other has helped us ignore the cracks of the house, and neglect taking action on the seriously flawed electrical wiring.

Well, now that we have decided not to focus on what works between us, I am thinking clearly: The electrical wiring is something I would classify as a key component of the house. If it malfunctions I will have no fridge, phone, internet, washing machine or whatever utility I need to run my life - and my business.

Some of the most beautiful houses in this world get tons of maintenance each year. New paint, windows are cleaned, gardens are landscaped, doors are replaced, expensive furniture to make living easy. Many of us dream of living in these beautiful houses, and some settle for those that aren’t fully maintained. There’s just something absolutely romantic about a house you can define with your own hands.

None of that matters if the wiring inside is shot. After all, why invest a million dollars in beautiful furniture or a landscaped garden, if you know that you need to look after the vital parts of your house first - or risk losing everything in a fire?

When you look deep inside your own house, I know you will make sure to remember how great your wiring is, and you will be able to accept the cosmetical flaws for what they are.  Surface flaws are easily fixed, and sure… our house looks great. Not all things that shine are made of gold, you know?

First things first. I’m calling an electrician tomorrow to help me analyze the wiring inside this house.

You still think I was writing about my house, don’t you? ;-)